I was sitting at church this afternoon, working on my schoolwork (the main reason I haven't posted in a while) and suddenly I had this overwhelming urge to pray for the lady who sits in the front row of the church I will someday be appointed to. I did pray for her. Of course, I have absolutely no clue who she is or what her needs are, but God does, so I prayed for her to feel his presence and strength, and for her to be safe and healthy, for her family and for her to feel overwhelmed by the love and peace of Jesus.
Who is she? Is she old or young, rich or poor? Does she have a huge, loving family... is she all alone? Is she the picture of health and vitality, or is she frail and weak with illness? So many questions I have about this woman and all the others I am getting ready to serve. I have been thinking a lot about that 'someday' congregation lately. Somewhere out there, right now, is a family of believers that I will be serving. Somewhere is a little baby who I will someday see before me in children's time. Somewhere is the child of God whose funeral will be the first I perform, a couple whose vows will be the first I hear as a pastor. Somewhere is the person I will someday counsel, hopefully making some small difference to their life.
I recently took my psych testing for my candidacy. There were some tough questions... not because I didn't know the answers, but because I did and didn't particularly want to answer them. But I did, with all honesty. In large part because I was thinking about that 'someday' congregation and how much I love them and want to be the best pastor for them that I can possibly be. Every step of this journey, every single one, I am thinking of how it is preparing me to do God's work, to be His hands and feet and eyes and ears and voice to His children. Every step of the journey I am thinking of how He has given me the love that He wants me to pour out on them someday. It makes it so much easier to see setbacks as just another part of the process and disappointments as another opportunity to learn and grow. It is funny to me (funny peculiar not funny 'haha') that it is so easy for me to see it this way. Usually I have a really hard time with setbacks and disappointments. Must be that I am getting just a liiiiiiitttttttlllllleeee bit better at the whole trusting God thing???