And we know that all things work together for good to them that love GOD, to them who are the called according to HIS purpose Romans 8:28
In a few weeks I am co-leading a service at our church. Our pastor is going to be away and asked a friend and I to take over. My first instict was to panic and say no, but my husband said I should do it, and the pastor said I should, and since I trust them both I agreed. And I wouldn't be doing it alone, my friend has led some of the mid week services, and is good at it, so I figured I would give it a try. The more I thought about it the more reality set in and with it, major panic. The pastor said we should follow the skit we chose with a short personal testimony on how GOD has called us. More panic. Then one day, while shopping online for last minute Christmas gifts, Amazon's recommendations for me included a book by Beth Moore called 'So Long Insecurity'. I bought it, thinking that it might help me not to freak out about the upcoming service. What a blessing! This book was an eyeopener for me. Not only did it put a label on what I have dealt with most of my life, it gave me the tools to respond positively to fears and worries that can limit the ability to serve GOD. GOD took a situation, where I was feeling completely overwhelmed and out of my element, and used it to put me on the path to healing and peace. I'm still very nervous about the service, and I will be glad when it is over, but at least now I am looking forward to it with the knowledge that GOD has 'clothed me in strength and dignity' (Proverbs 31:25) and that even though HE may not have called me to leave everything behind to follow HIM to lands unknown, or preach to a lost people, or choose a new vocation, HE is certainly calling me. Maybe at this time HIS call is simply a call to loose the insecurity that has clung to me for far too long and accept the security, strength and dignity that is my birthright as HIS beloved child. Maybe HE is getting me ready for something bigger, or maybe HE is just setting me free to live life with the joy HE intended for me to. Either way, I know that whatever HE asks me to do, HE will give me the tools I need to do it.
FATHER GOD, thank YOU for giving me the tools I need to live in joy and peace! I look at the events of the past few months and see YOUR fingerprints everywhere. YOUR providence is amazing to me, that YOU care so much for me that YOU put reminders in every part of my life that I am strong and dignified in YOU. YOU see the struggles I face and give me the tools to overcome them, and for that I am so grateful. I know YOU will keep helping me grow and learn and heal, thank YOU for YOUR loving faithfulness. In JESUS' name, Amen